“Is Stella still on her weird diet?”

Is what I’m asked — often! One darling friend literally laughed at what I was feeding Stella for lunch one day. Sardines on gluten free oatcakes was certainly not a “normal” lunch choice as far as she was concerned. It was all ‘in jest’ of course and given how much this friend and I go back, I didn’t take offence; neither did Stella, more to the point, who happily tucked in.  

Admittedly, I was feeling very overwhelmed; sardines and oatcakes were easy enough but what else could I give her? 21 meals made from scratch every week suddenly seemed like a gargantuan task.

I had a moment of clarity: Gluten free, dairy free (ish), low inflammatory, high fibre, etc, sounded way more complicated than it needed to be. I decided that in order for me to stop feeling so scared and overwhelmed, I would simply start channelling Granny!

It occurred to me that if I just stuck to the basics: simple food, like what I would have had visiting Granny and Grandpa years ago (except maybe sl. less sugar: two puddings on offer was Granny’s trademark). The way their generation cooked and ate food, and, incidentally, the way my husband’s family ate too growing up (dairy farmers and so VERY traditional food was had!) seemed both appealing and doable. A simple dinner of soup followed by meat, potatoes and veg was achievable, surely? As well as meeting my criteria of being suitable for Stells.

I’m going to share roughly what she eats and you can see for yourselves whether it’s weird or not. She’s enjoys her food, thank The Lord, and is probably the least fussy eater I know, next to my nephew, but he would eat literally anything, I’m sure he ate cat food.

Breakkie…

Gluten free porridge oats which I will have soaked in water and apple cider vinegar the night before. Weird? Probably. But I read something about soaking oats allows them to digest better. Apparently this method has been around for years and years and this is actually what my grandparents’ generation would’ve done. If it’s good enough for them …!

Stella will then drain the porridge then pour in coconut milk to heat through. We’ll all have this. Apart from my husband who still insists that Branflakes and crunchy topping is the only breakfast option, ever.

Stella will have a whole load of chia seeds on top of her porridge and maybe flax seeds with a wee bit of maple syrup. She’ll then have gluten free oatcakes or toast with honey and butter.

Weekends she’ll have any gluten free cereal, Cocopops or Honey Flakes are the fave. She’ll maybe have pancakes or toast afterwards. And that’s breakfast. All very normal for us and doesn’t cause her any issues.

Lunch…

Usually she’ll take a packed lunch to school. She’ll have oatcakes, bread, or crackers (gluten free); topped with either sardines, mackerel, olive tapenade, chicken or a nut free chocolate spread. A salad on the side with seeds followed by fruit, as well as a packet of crisps or a gluten free bar, of which there are tons on the market; I try to go for ones with the least sugar. A lot of them have a ton of sugar. Clearly when you remove one thing, something else is replaced. I’ll look at the ingredients list; if the list is as long as my arm, containing items that I’ve never heard of, I’ll tend to avoid.

She‘ll eat in school once a week, usually a baked potato with tuna or baked beans. Jelly for pudding. Unfortunately, there’s not much choice for Stella to eat at school, hence the packed lunches.

I make a lot of soups, usually bone broth based from a chicken that we’ve eaten. She’ll take this down to school in a flask some days too.

We do have a McDonald’s every once a while- usually when one of us is mildly hungover and only a McDonald’s will cure us! There she’ll have a burger and chips, and we’ll provide the gluten free roll. Perhaps not ideal on a regular basis for her — or any of us – but fine on occasion and clearly good for the soul, yea?

Snacks…

Anything really, she has fruit — “encouraged” by me, although she’s obsessed with pomegranate seeds at the moment. After school, when she’s allegedly starving, she’ll have a couple of biscuits or a cake or bar (GF) and fruit; water or hot chocolate made with coconut milk.

She also loves an egg. So much so that her thing after a hospital appointment is to visit the cafe to have one of the little pots with egg and spinach? Not that usual for a 10 year old probably, but it works for her and she loves it.

Stella is of an age now where she’s out ‘n’ about with friends. I know that going to the shops and buying a few quid worth of sweets after school is tempting, especially when her friends are doing it. This is when it’s difficult; she knows if she has too much rubbish, she’ll not feel great. I can warn her, of course, which I do; but she kind of has to also figure this out on her own.

Dinner…

It’s still fairly simple but I have been mixing it up! It’s usually soup then chicken or fish with potatoes, rice or pasta (all GF); as well as variety of veg. Much more veg than I would have added before. I aim to buy a new veg that we’ve maybe not tried every week; and not just stick to the usual. I’ll ensure that most days we have at least 5–10 different fruits/ veg a day. Easier when you’ve managed to pack a lot of them into soups, stews, chilli, etc. I also use the pasta made from green peas or chickpeas. They’ll be more chat about this “rainbow eating” later.

I love a leftover, so we could have chilli for a couple of days or bolognaise or leftover chicken dishes. Jamie Oliver has been a massive help with this because like I said before, I was SO NOT A COOK. I felt intimidated by cook books with recipes that looked gorgeous but not basic enough! Jamie’s 30 minute meals book was a definite help. I figured if he could make something in half n hour surely I could make it in a day?

We go out for dinner sometimes. Maybe once a month, two months or whatever. We tend to stick to the restaurants that are good for catering for allergies: Zizzi, Pizza Express are definite faves. It’s great, we’re all happy. Having a child with allergies and Crohn’s disease definitely does not stop us doing normal things like eating out.

Stella goes to her pals’ houses for dinner fairly frequently, as well as sleepovers. I do worry a bit about accidental gluten contamination because I don’t expect other people to be as neurotic as me — is anyone? For example, the parent might thoughtfully buy in gluten free bread but I then have to (awkwardly) remind them about not using the same toaster and to pop the bread under the grill, please. I’ve since learned that you can buy toaster bags for putting bread in which avoids cross contamination. Result!

The nut allergy thing isn’t so bad because it’s been drummed into people for years now that she has nut allergies. Stella’s very good herself and has no issues about reminding people what she can’t have.

Recently, Stella went away for a two night Scripture Union camp, was brilliant fun for her and completely stress free. The chef rang me a week or so before to discuss Stella’s food and assured me that there would be no issues catering for her needs. Was fab and totally appreciated.

My stress used to be when it came to parties as party food is full of the gluten: sausage rolls, sausages, garlic bread, all the yum stuff that kids gorge on. However, I now know where to go for the gluten free range and can freeze it in advance, if necessary.

Aside from Stella having a rubbish time with Crohn’s, my bigger worry, genuinely, is that my girls end up having an unhealthy relationship with food, because we have to be so careful.

I have said (jokingly, ish) to my husband that if we get through this without a divorce and/or child with an eating disorder, it’ll be a miracle. I’m so aware that as a family we have to watch what we eat, obviously Stella in particular. I just hope that we can continue to do it in as positive a way as we can. And I think we are. We eat together and as I said, aside from the Branflakes, we all eat the same. I have to say though (sorry, Stella), it’s really nice going out for a coffee with my other daughter and not have to worry about whether what she’s chosen contains nuts or gluten! Thankfully, though, there’s such a change for the better now when it comes to choices in coffee shops and restaurants. There’s pretty much always something for her to have.